Friday, 13 November 2009


Green Zone is the boring realistic name for Paul Greengrass's boring "realistic" action film that is disguising itself as an original, but is in fact... another Bourne film. If you want an official Jason Bourne title, look forward to 2011 where apparently we will be seeing more Bourne, because you can't have too much shakey-cam car chases and blurred close combat sequences right? I call it boring because anything that repeats itself eventually becomes boring no matter how exciting the original is.

Greengrass's style is so recognisable that he really needn't put "from the maker of the Bourne Ultimatum and Bourne Supremacy" in his trailers, Matt Damon's scrunched up little face does that all on its own. The words "gritty" and "realistic" send shivers down my spine not only because I prefer escapism in films, but because it's Hollywood's latest buzz-word and inescapable in modern action films.

I like realism when John McClane steps on glass shards and winces, but I also like that his wounds are completely superficial and make him look cool. It would be interesting to have an action film where the lead man's arm gets blown off or he slowly bleeds to death from a single gunshot, but it would only be interesting ONCE.

Anyway before I get too ranty, here are some suggested titles for Jason Bourne sequels:

- Jason Bourne On The 4th Of July (vietnam bourne film, may involve time-travel)
- Natural Bourne Killers
- The Unbourne (Jason Bourne's opposite, a very safe driver, likes petting cats OR a horror film where Jason Bourne discovers his unborn brother is Ben Affleck)
- Bourne To Be Wild
- The Talented Mr Bourne
- Bad Will Hunting
- Stuck On You 2: Stupremacy

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